Understanding Grief and Loss

Grief is one of the most painful experiences we go through as human beings. Whether it follows the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a job loss, or any other significant change, grief touches every part of who we are - emotionally, physically, and mentally.

One of the most important things I want you to know is this: there is no right way to grieve. Your grief is unique to you, and it deserves to be honoured, not rushed.

Grief Is Not Linear

You may have heard of the “stages of grief” - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these can be useful as a general framework, grief rarely follows a neat sequence. You might feel acceptance one day and be overwhelmed by anger the next. You might think you are coping well, only to be caught off guard by a song, a smell, or an anniversary.

This is completely normal. Grief comes in waves, and those waves can catch you when you least expect them.

Common Experiences in Grief

Everyone experiences grief differently, but some common feelings include:

• Deep sadness, crying, or a sense of emptiness
• Anger - at the person who has gone, at the situation, at yourself
• Guilt - replaying things you wish you had said or done differently
• Physical symptoms - exhaustion, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Feeling disconnected from others, even people who care about you
• Relief - which can then bring its own guilt

All of these are normal responses to loss. There is no feeling that is “wrong” in grief.

Giving Yourself Permission

We live in a culture that often expects people to “move on” quickly. You might feel pressure to get back to normal, to be strong, to hold it together for others. But grief needs space. It needs time. And it needs to be felt, not pushed away.

Giving yourself permission to grieve - to cry, to be angry, to not be okay - is not a sign of weakness. It is part of the healing process.

How Counselling Can Help

Sometimes grief can feel too big to carry alone. Friends and family mean well, but they may not know what to say, or they may be grieving too. Counselling offers a dedicated, confidential space where you can express everything you are feeling without worrying about burdening anyone.

In our sessions, we can explore your feelings at your own pace. We can look at the relationship you had with the person you have lost, honour the memories you hold, and work through the more difficult emotions that may be coming up. There is no agenda and no timeline - just a safe space to be heard.

As one of my clients once told me: “Thank you so much for helping me to accept what happened. I now realise I still have many wonderful memories and no one can take these away.”